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Feeling Insignificant in the Mundane

stuck-3Do you ever feel stuck, do you ever feel as though your life is insignificant? Do you find yourself wanting something more?

So many women, whether we are single and working to make something of ourselves, or we are stay at home moms wishing we were doing more than changing diapers or working mothers not happy with where they are at, or maybe you have served your time in the workforce and now you are newly retired. We as women can often fall into the trap that we need more, we need to be somebody else, pursue more, and make more of our lives. There are times even in my very content state that I really wish I was back in school getting my doctorate in Christian education or still teaching nursing, or being on a church staff once again – because wouldn’t that be more “impactful”? Sometimes it’s even as simple as being involved in activities and such that the confines of our life, don’t allow like being in choir, or teaching a bible study or anything after 5pm for that matter. But God taught me an important lesson many years ago that I have continually gone back to when those same lies try to revisit me.

I have had the wonderful opportunity of going on several mission trips. But out of all of the trips I have been on, the most significant one was my trip to Bangkok, Thailand where I served as a summer missionary the summer before nursing school. There are many reasons why this trip was so significant but one of the main reasons was that God showed me a very valuable lesson there. Even though my two partners and I were there for only a few months we were a part of a three-year plan. It wasn’t me just showing up in a country doing my own thing, it was me joining a team with a bigger mission, bigger focus and bigger plan. I really felt that my 3 months impacted far more than the 3 months I was there because of this plan.

It was that summer that God showed me that life is about joining in His plan. Our life is but a vapor, here today and gone tomorrow. We can do our own thing and even do it in the name of “Christ” but what kind of impact can we really have? Or we can trust God, follow Him, and plug into His plan. Then our life, no matter how long or short, great or small, significant or insignificant in the eyes of the world, has far more purpose than we could ever dream. So often we try to make ourselves something. We want to be someone. We want to do something big and make our mark. This desire that sometimes overcomes us, leads us to make bad decisions in our pursuits, leave those we love behind or be discontent for most of our lives with the “mundane” every day ordinary tasks God has placed before us.

Sometimes we don’t understand how God could be using us. But if we are in His will, plugged into His plan. that is all that matters.

It is only then that our life, which is only a tiny speck in light of eternity, can make a difference.

We don’t need to listen to the lies that tell us we need to be more or do more….we just need to be obedient; be obedient to His plan.  

It’s been awhile

It’s been a while since I have actually blogged on this blog. So much has happened in my life since then primarily due to the fact that the last time that I was blogging on this blog I wasn’t a mother. We had been on a journey for quite a while but it ended up leading us to two beautiful children that God allowed us to adopt – twins who are now 9 months old.

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Needless to say, a lot has changed in my life.

Today, for the first time, I was finally able to go to our church’s mom’s group, iMom. I had planned on going a couple of weeks ago but the kids got sick and so I haven’t been able to leave the house for a couple of weeks. But today, everything worked out and I was able to go (well I just about ran to the car to get out of the driveway before anything changed!). While I was there, I was reminded once again of how when we share with each other our struggles, our victories and what God is teaching us with others, we can each grow and be encouraged in our faith. That was always the goal of this blog. To share with you our daily struggles, the daily ups and downs so that you would be encouraged in your faith.

A lot is going on in our life, and someday I hope to be able to share with you how God has/is continually providing for us even in the dark days. But for today, it was a good reminder for me to remember that all of us are facing our own difficult times, our own difficult days and our own difficult struggles. Whether we are new moms with sleepless nights, having trouble sending our kids off to school, having a health crisis, loss of spouse, or we are having financial struggles, no matter what we are facing, God is faithful to meet us where we are.

When I got home from iMom, I found out some news that made me want to curl up on the floor, shed some pity party tears and eat a pint of blue bell. But I didn’t. (Well, I may or may not be eating some Blue Bell because well, Blue Bell just makes any day better) I didn’t though because I have been here before. I have had this same news on many occasions in the past 5 years. The first time was just days after I got married, and I did curl up on my kitchen tile and cry. But over the last several years as we have faced this same situation time and time again, God has always been faithful. And I know He will be faithful again. Though it may be hard, I know He will give me the strength to get me through it or provide what we need.

It is during these difficult days, these difficult moments and these difficult struggles that we all face that lead us closer and closer to Christ.

Each day I fail but each day I am reminded constantly of God’s grace, God’s comfort, God’s forgiveness and God’s goodness. I am more than abundantly thankful for God’s continued provision and blessings that He has given me and our family. I’m so thankful that we have a God who loves us and cares for each and every one of us even through the most difficult of days.

No matter who you are or what you are facing, God will meet you where you are. He will give you the peace and comfort you need and strength to face each new day.

Be encouraged…. for you are not alone.

Jesus Loves Me

Jesus Loves MeOur mornings are super crazy now that school is in full swing. After dropping the big girls off at school, Reagan and I normally head to town for some sort of therapy or appointment. This morning was no different.

Reagan is vocally in that stage where she is trying to talk and learning new words but needs a translator for others to catch what she is trying to say. There is still a lot of jabber in her and she is just starting to sing.

This morning I actually took time to listen to her as she was “singing” on our way to town.  She was singing broken parts of the song I have sang to her most over the last four years. Out the back seat I hear, “yea Je Lu Me, yea Je Lu Me”.

My eyes misted over at the fact that she was singing Jesus Loves Me and then grinned as she moved on to Let It Go.

I listened to her sing a bit longer and then got lost in thought. Reagan was supposed to start day care at the beginning of the month and due to her medical condition the day care asked us to either apply to get an aide or nurse to attend with her.

In doing this I have felt defeated.

I have cared for her for four years without assistance and felt like I was throwing in the towel to admit help was needed. The last few weeks have been mentally exhausting for me, I know it is once again all in my head but I don’t know how to let my heart know this is ok.

I thought about my little Reagan singing those broken lines and it hit me that even though I am broken and defeated that My Jesus still loves me! Even though I can’t wrap my brain around the idea of getting help and letting go that My Jesus Loves Me!

I am not forgotten and He knows where I am because, “yea Je Lu Me, yea Je Lu Me”.

Down in the Dirt

Filed in Christian Walk, Faith, Lindsey by on September 8, 2015 0 Comments

Last year we started a garden. We bought all the “dirt” ingredients that the book described, including several different kinds of packaged compost. Our compost pile was still in progress and wasn’t ready to be used.

We mixed up the dirt, and it looked exactly like the pictures. Perfect.

We laid out our seeds and they sprouted. Exactly in their neat little rows. Perfect.

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see? perfect, right?

 

We had an ok harvest for our first season. But we decided our picture perfect soil was seriously lacking in actual nutrients.

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but it looks so green and healthy!

 

Our garden looked pretty and green and leafy, nice and neat and organized. But it didn’t actually produce many vegetables, and the ones we did harvest were pretty tiny.

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this is my cauliflower. hush. stop laughing.

 

But it’s been a year. We’ve added some nutrients. Our compost matured [translation: all our garbage finally broke down into dirt. Yum.] and was ready to use.

And today as I was planting another round of seeds in a few of our squares, I noticed… real compost – that post-garbage dirt – is kinda messy. It’s kinda yucky. There are a lot more bugs in our garden this year. Some I recognize like earthworms and roly polys, and a whole lot more that I didn’t recognize. Just crawling all around while I stuck my fingers in the dirt with them. Dirt full of evidence of our past… half-decomposed blueberries and egg shells… a few unrecognizable chunks to pick out…

Our plants didn’t come up in nice neat little rows this year. Between the late cold snaps, our curious dog and some critters digging up our seedlings, and some crazy spring hailstorms (what?!), our garden is a bit more “au natural” this year.

But you know what?

It is cranking out some veggies. We already have more tomatoes on the vine this year than we got allll season last year.

Real life is rarely picture perfect. It’s more likely to be full of the garbage from the years we have lived, lots of half-decomposed blueberries and egg shells. It’s rarely neat and tidy. We often take beatings from the elements that leave us with our roots exposed and our stems bent and the different sections of our lives spilling over into each other until it’s all messy and intertwined.

But those very things in our life that make it messy and hard and a little icky? That’s what makes the soil rich.

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And rich soil means maximum fruitfulness.

Rich soil means that even when the storms come, we can weather them, broken limbs and battered fruit and all, and still keep on growing and being fruitful.

Weeping may stay for the night, but rejoicing comes in the morning. Psalm 30:5b

For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.   2 Corinthians 4:17

3 Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.  Romans 5:3-5

Sometimes it is so hard to see how the mess can be part of a plan. But God has bigger things in mind than you and I can imagine. Hold on to that hope.

Wrestling with the Almighty

woman-prayingHave you ever wrestled with the weight of life and wondered why? Held your breath for a job to come through? Pleaded for someone’s healing? Weighed a heavy decision? Waited on a dream to be fulfilled that you know is from God? It might comfort you to know that you are not alone. Jacob, Abraham’s grandson, the man called Israel in his latter years actually wrestled with God one dark night. At that moment in his life his fears, failures, and insecurities were all catching up to him and so was his brother. You remember Esau? The one whom Jacob deceived for his father’s blessing? Well, he was hot on the trail and had sworn he would kill his brother. So Jacob prepared. He divided his large family, packed them across the river, sent gifts ahead to Esau, and waited anxiously on the other side. The black night crowded in quickly, and I imagine him praying, pacing the ground, and worrying. “God where are you? I need You! Remember you promised my family descendants as numerous as the sand on the shore? I am unworthy of your kindness, but I ask for your protection.” He finally fell into an exhausted sleep, and awoke with a heavenly visitor clothed in human flesh upon him. In his heightened sense of fear he begins to wrestle the “man.” The Bible says that they wrestled until daybreak, and only ceased when the divine visitor touched his hip bone, causing a permanent disability.

I think there is something sacred to be found in the struggle here. God could have just let Jacob worry all night and shown up the next day when Esau did, putting a hedge around Jacob with a mighty wall of angels. Or He could have answered him at the first hint of worry and despair, whispering; “I got this. Go to sleep.” And to be honest, sometimes God does just show up in that moment. In fact He came and dwelt among us in the fullness of time, in the midst of our sinful world. He presented himself for all the world, as a humble King in a manger. Jesus came with a mission to rescue his people, and after he rose again, he did not leave us alone even then. He sent His Spirit, and humanity is forever changed. Yet we wrestle not against flesh and blood (;instead) we wrestle (against) Satan, the fallenness of the world, and ourselves. Yet God is far wiser than us, and far more patient. And He is not on our timeline. Some of us wait what feels like forever for adopting children, marrying, seeing a career path open up, or witnessing a loved one come to Christ. Those minutes, months, and years of wonder are not just some blank space that God dawdles in to drive us crazy. He is etching something deep in our souls, and He is preparing the way His answer will come. I don’t believe that God ever answers ‘No” without a better “Yes.” We may not see the goodness in it, and things don’t always come to be as we want them to.

But this doesn’t mar the goodness of God.

He is the very definition of good. And so we wrestle- weary, waiting. Trying to be faithful. Until we feel it might cripple us. Look again closely at Jacob’s story- it says that he wrestled with the Man until he was divinely touched in a way that disabled him. Yet somehow he is left holding on, barely, and all his hope is in that grip. He ceases wrestling and simply clings. However the man says, “Let me go!” Jacob says, “Not until you bless me.” The word “blessing” is used so easily these days. A biblical blessing was life giving-renewal, hope, and a future! A lack of it meant your days were numbered and your house bereft of joy. Now you see why Esau was after Jacob for stealing his blessing- his future. It was more than an inheritance, it was a provision for future generations. Jacob, for all his cunning and deceit, wisely recognizes that this Man can bless him. Turn his mistakes around. Note that Jacob is not relieved of his burden until He comes face to face with God. He knows he is a dead man without Him. He knows that his family’s future is void without God’s blessing, His protection. This is not a bartering situation. Jacob has nothing to offer. He acknowledges God’s power and grip over his future. And he comes to the end of his wrestling, and asks God to step in. To bless him. How bold is this? This is totally what God desires us to ask him! Not that He bless us in our way.

How fickle and faithless our hearts would be if we got the things they long for in our own time and in our own way! He chooses to bless us with himself, his presence, and his many promises.

An even greater blessing has been promised to us, and it stems from the one God promised Abraham, Issac and Jacob those many years ago. “Indeed I will greatly bless you, and I will greatly multiply your seed as the stars of the heavens and as the sand which is on the seashore; and your seed shall possess the gate of their enemies. In your seed all the nations of the earth shall be blessed, because you have obeyed My voice.” Genesis 22:18. That blessing is also found in Numbers 6:24, “The Lord bless you and keep you, the Lord make his face to shine upon you.” In the face of Christ, my friend, all the blessings of God are found. Meditate on that. So wrestle my friend, but do not worry. Wrestle with the wonder of a God so big, He can handle all the intricate worries of your life. Wrestle with the vastness of His goodness, and wait on His timing.

And do not let go….

Do not let go until you realize His blessing.

What a Friend We Have in Jesus

Filed in Carrie, Faith, Friendship, Prayer, trials, Trust by on June 10, 2015 0 Comments

Nearly 5 years ago my family packed up and moved about 20 minutes outside of town. This was the plan from before we got married. Mark had purchased 8 acres of land in the school district he attended while we were dating. I teased him about the location since we went to rival high schools but got over it quickly when he asked me to marry him.

While we were building our house I was talking about all the people I would invite to have dinner with us and how while he was at work we would have all kind of fun play dates. He kept telling me that we lived too far out and people wouldn’t want to come see us. I assured him it was only 20 minutes from town that my friends loved me and would come see me.

After living here a year, I conceded he was right. 

I still was in contact with my friends and we still had dinner and play dates but it was at their house. For the longest I swept/mopped a couple times a week in case someone would call and say they were coming. The couch never had clean laundry on it because a guest might want to sit down. Toys were only allowed in the bedroom and the beds were made every morning.

Now don’t get me wrong, during this year period Mark’s mother was super sick and I was at her house most of the time. I was also pregnant with Reagan and my house flooded. I can’t and won’t say people never came to see me, it just wasn’t like when I lived in the center of town and someone would call when they were around the corner or just drop by.

I missed this greatly.

Since Reagan was born I have found out who my friends are.

Those friends who will drop everything and keep a kiddo so you can be at TCH (Texas Children’s Hospital), those who will feed your family because you aren’t home enough to make sure they get to eat some days, the ones that will clean your house or pay to have it cleaned so when you get out of the hospital you can come home to clean floors and your Christmas tree down, those that hand you money because they know the trips are over whelming and some months the gas is as much as the house note.

This girl has friends who love her very much but I found myself feeling sorry for myself recently as I was driving to TCH for the 5th week in a row and I was pouting about an event I had missed over the weekend. Satan can really mess with a girls mind about how much she is loved, how she has it worse than others, and how no one understands what she is going through.

Then it hit me…The song God put in my mind while I was missing the event was his message to me.
  1. What a friend we have in Jesus,
    All our sins and griefs to bear!
    What a privilege to carry
    Everything to God in prayer!
    Oh, what peace we often forfeit,
    Oh, what needless pain we bear,
    All because we do not carry
    Everything to God in prayer!
  2. Have we trials and temptations?
    Is there trouble anywhere?
    We should never be discouraged—
    Take it to the Lord in prayer.
    Can we find a friend so faithful,
    Who will all our sorrows share?
    Jesus knows our every weakness;
    Take it to the Lord in prayer.

(What a Friend We Have in Jesus written by Joseph M. Scriven)

I can sit around and grumble about events I am missing or all the extra miles I am putting on the suburban so Reagan gets the best care possible….
or I can take it to Jesus.
In the 274 miles I drive on a TCH day I have lots of time to pray. When it comes to my relationship with Jesus, praying is the part I have always felt most confident in. There have been times when my heart has been so heavy I couldn’t pray but I knew God was there and others were praying for me.When it comes to Jesus, He takes us just like we are.

He knows our struggles, griefs, and weakness.
He knows that losing my grandmother—–all this driving—-another procedure this week on Reagan—-my girls having to go a week longer than other schools in our area and not having a minute to myself is bigger than me right now.
Yet I know He is the most faithful friend and He can handle my every weakness, if I will just surrender my pride and allow Him to have control.
What a Friend We Have In Jesus!!!

The Love of a Grandmother

Filed in Carrie by on April 9, 2015 0 Comments

Granny 3In May of 1978 before I was born in October, my Pa married my Granny. Both of them were widowed and had mostly grown children. When they married we gained a grandmother, aunts, uncles, and cousins. They were married until Pa passed in 2010.

I have seen many blended families that just didn’t blend but since a lot of us lived in the same area this wasn’t the case for us. We celebrated Christmas and Easter together until the 7 kids between them had so many kids we just didn’t fit in the large house any more. After that, I still remember getting together as one big unit a few times. And it was often that when I would drive over for a visit after we moved away that I would see as many of “Granny’s” bunch as I would of “Pa’s”.

When I was little I remember hearing that Granny had cancer. In the 80’s and being a kiddo I knew little about cancer but that it was awful and many died from it. Granny took her chemo like a champ and God healed her. In the late 90’s she started having trouble with congestive heart failure. She got her first pacemaker on my birthday in ’97.

When she got her first pacemaker I started to realize what I had to lose. For the first years of my life Granny was the one who shared her recliner with me while the adults talked and she pinched me in church when I wiggled. After we moved she became who we couldn’t wait to go visit and she she still shared that spot in her recliner with me. After I started driving, she was my excuse to get out of town for a few days when I needed a break and was looking for a good biscuit.Granny 2

I remember changing my thinking after I turned 20, I wanted her to live to see me get married. She and Pa came to my wedding and she spent my honeymoon in the hospital because she over did it. After I married, I wanted to be able to show off my first baby to her. In December of 2003, when the doctor placed that little girl on my chest, she became Granny’s namesake.

I always knew my Granny wasn’t my Granny by birth but by choice. She chose to share that recliner with me and bake me thousands of biscuits even when she didn’t feel like it. She would make sure I had homemade jelly to take home when I left for the days we had biscuits out of a can at home. When I would head out the back door she and Pa would always say, “Love you Carrie, come back when you can.” She never had to love me but did it anyway.

Over the last several weeks my Granny has gone down and really isn’t expected to live long. I am at a place that I am now praying that God will have mercy on Granny and call her home soon. Not because I don’t love her but because I love her that much. I would rather hurt here on Earth knowing that I will see her again in Heaven than to have her hurt when she would be healed and standing face to face with Jesus.

Granny 1I look back on all she has taught me and one thing stands out most, unconditional love.

Between Granny and Pa there were seven kids and seventeen grandkids (who knows how many greats) and  each one of us was made feel equally as loved. There was no step needed we were just their kids and grandkids. They lived out 1 Corinthians 13:4-5 “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.”

I can honestly say if my father-in-law remarries one day I hope it hurts my kids this much to lose her because then I will know they were loved like I was.

Living Life – Focusing on the Lord instead of the Trial

Filed in Angela, Faith, trials, Trust by on March 20, 2015 0 Comments

The-Names-of-God            Well, it has been some time since I last wrote for the blog. I would love to tell you that everything has been so lovely that I have not had a second to spare (insert mental image of fairytale princess singing with all of the animals) but once again, life is not a fairytale and it is not always perfect. As a matter of fact, sometimes managing the twists and turns of life is quite a difficult task. I could list all of the trials and negative experiences that I have encountered lately but that would not glorify the Father and I refuse to give the enemy any credit at all. Besides, who wants to read a “pity party” blog? Not me! So, let’s get on with what I have learned just living life…

We make decisions on a daily basis that reflect who we are and what we believe. I firmly believe that our greatest witness to a lost world is how we handle ourselves on a day-to-day basis. Whether or not you like it, people are watching. You can have all of the right words (Jesus loves you!) but if you don’t act like you believe it, why should anyone else? I also believe God allows the trials of life for a multitude of reasons. I believe how we handle ourselves in adverse situations is one of the reasons, so that the world will see that we, as Christians, believe in God’s absolute authority and unfathomable power.

Do you really believe God is our provider when you or your spouse loses a job and it is time to pay bills?

Do you really believe God is our healer when you or a loved one is facing illness or disease?

Do you really believe God is our redeemer and forgives when you know ALL of your past?

Do you really believe God is able and enough?

Ouch, those questions sting a little even now and I know the answer. The answer for me is a resounding “YES,” I believe!

I know that the LORD of ALL is my provider, healer, deliverer, redeemer, satisfier, counselor, and Savior. I absolutely love the names of God. They reveal His character. I believe that is another reason for the trials of life, so that we can know His character in a whole new way. It is one thing to hear about someone and their attributes but it is a completely different perspective when you get to know them personally.

God is our provider (Genesis 22:13-14).

God is our healer (Exodus 15:26).

God is our redeemer (Isaiah 47:4).

God is our deliverer, our rock, our fortress, our shield, our salvation, and our stronghold (Psalm 18:2, Psalm 68:19-20). Hallelujah!

I don’t know about you but remembering God’s character and faithfulness encourages me in the toughest times. Let’s not focus on our trials but on El Shaddai, the Lord God Almighty. Please know that whatever you are facing, God can handle it. Call on His name and behold His glory! Until we are made perfect in glory, press on and live out loud!

 

 

The Journey

Filed in Christian Walk, Faith, God's plans, Spring, trials, Trust by on March 19, 2015 1 Comment

shutterstock_237106114I created this blog for women to be able to encourage others by sharing all that God was doing in their life and about the journey that they are on. Yet, I have found myself having a hard time articulating exactly what God is doing in my own life. In some ways, it has been because my spiritual life has been kind of dry. But it also has been because I have found myself in a place that required greater faith, greater trust, and greater dependence on the Lord. But with this greater faith that was required, has also come greater opportunities and crevices for doubt. But God has always been faithful.

Daily I may doubt, but daily I am reminded of who God is and that no matter what the future holds, He will provide exactly what we need to do what He wants us to do. Our whole life is a journey – a journey of faith. A continuing walk with Christ no matter where He leads.

He has been faithful to constantly reassure me of who He is.

Before I got married, I didn’t have many financial concerns. I had a stable career and a definite way to live my life within the means that I could provide for myself. But after getting married, our daily financial needs have been a great stress, worry, and burden beyond what I felt I was prepared for. To live the life that Charles lives, he has to have the medical care that he receives on a daily basis and it is very expensive on top of our regular living expenses that anyone would have. Early on, I even faced daily and almost paralyzing fear. The life that we live requires a great financial support, that before I was married, I probably couldn’t have even comprehended.

Early on, I believe that God etched in my heart the story of Naomi and Ruth. He constantly reminded me of how when Ruth followed Naomi, their plight seemed great but God had an answer to their problems that they didn’t even know about yet. And in many dark days of worry God would constantly remind me of this story.

Then one day last summer, Charles shared with me an idea about starting a new company. This new company would be similar to the family company but also very different. For some reason the usual negativity (or what I call “facts from reality”) that I usually have, was not present and I felt really good about this idea. Over the next several months, we worked very hard at planning and preparing for a new company. We prayed and we sought the Lord. We sought wise counsel. And though there were a few closed doors and some slight doubt we did believe that this is where God was leading us. We also saw many miracles done and what nobody else thought was possible God made possible.

One example was the last missing piece we had to start the company was financing for the trucks, which for a start-up with no additional collateral, is an almost impossible task. Through connection after connection we came across a company that actually agreed to finance the trucks. With no familiarity with this company we just assumed that this particular company regularly financed start-ups. But as the regional representative was saying goodbye after she drove to Jackson and Dyer to finish getting all the documents, she said, “I was really surprised they approved this, because we never do start-ups.” And as we sat there with our jaws once again on the floor, all we could do was give thanks to the Lord for doing another miracle.

And so the business began. However, it has been very very difficult. I thought just planning for the business was difficult but I had no idea what the days ahead would hold especially since everything we have is wrapped up in it.

But then God began to etch another story on my heart. It is the story of the Israelites. Once the Israelites returned to the promised land and were allowed to enter in after they wandered through the wilderness, they had many battles to fight to conquer the land. And even though they often faced larger battles that seemed ridiculously impossible (such as the battle of Jericho and the big wall), when they trusted the Lord and were obedient to Him, He gave them the victory.

And so that is where I really believe we are. We’re looking ahead at what we believe God has told us is our promised land, but there are giants in the land and many battles to be won. And no matter how tall the wall is, how fierce the enemy or how great the battle, we know we only have one response. That response is to trust. We must trust in the One who brought us to this place and in the One who loves us and cares for us and has given us the dreams He wants us to fulfill.

Our whole desire for living is to do His will and we know that He will provide what we need to do what He has called us to do.

So this is where I am…

Blessings and an Embroidery Machine

Filed in Carrie, Faith, God's plans, thankful by on February 25, 2015 0 Comments

P1010955Through out our life God will prompt us to do things and we have a choice to listen or not. They are things that He has called only us to do. For me one of those things was to put Kalli, our third daughter, in cloth diapers. At the time I thought, “Ok God but have I lost my mind to even think about it?” I ordered my first diapers and waited 2 days to tell Mark what I had done because I didn’t want to hear his ideas on them. I knew when I told him it was from God because all he said was “ok”. Later though, God showed me why He asked me to do it as I was able to pay for all of Kalli’s diapers by doing repairs to the elastic on other P1010930peoples cloth diapers.

During the next 18 months my family sold a house, moved, built a house, moved into a new house, lost my mother-in-law, had our new house flood while we were on vacation, lived 5 weeks in a hotel, rebuilt the house, and had a special needs kiddo. There was blessings in all of it. Love my new house and my mother-in-law didn’t have to suffer with her cancer and be REALLY sick but for only a few weeks. The blessing of the flood was we had insurance and so did our builder. Five weeks of rebuilding a house and replacing nearly everything was spending 5 weeks of my pregnancy distracted from what might be wrong with our baby. And of course the baby was a blessing despite all we had been through.

While all of the blessings are evident it did leave me frazzled and in need of some therapy. While retail therapy is nice at times, and it did take 2 years to finish up insurance claims and replace all I was going to replace, I needed something that didn’t mean Mark would have to take on a second job to pay for it.

We had been on a 2 week vacation when we came home to find 75% of our house 2 inches deep in water. Everything on the floor was wet and had been sitting in water. Until then, I didn’t realize how much stuff is on the floor. One of the items on the floor was my sewing machine. This sewing machine was the one I had won in High School though our County Youth Fair when I entered the sewing division. It was a nice one. I made my insurance claim but decided instead of buying another sewing machine I would upgrade to an embroidery machine.

I shopped around and ordered a basic embroidery machine. It came in two days later and I pulled it out of the box to look at, plugged it in to make sure it came on, and put it back in the box. Before I used it I wanted to buy the right thread and there wasn’t money in the budget to go buy a bunch of thread for it so I would wait. A month later I got a call from a friend who didn’t have time to use her embroidery machine any more and wanted to know if I would like to use hers. She told me to return mine and come get hers….thread included.

My friend nor I knew what kind of therapy God was providing. She knew her schedule didn’t allow her to use it and I might like to learn how to use it. The first couple months I would use the pre-programmed designs in the machine and did a few things that were cute. Next I got a text from a friend that said that the that machine would applique’. Applique’ sealed the deal from me.

Almost daily you can find me tinkering with the machine. I may only have 30 minutes to spare but that 30 minutes allows me to mellow and be able to face the next 24 hours. In the last 11 months I have sewn 6.4 million stitches on it. When the kids are looking for me they normally start with my closet in front of the machine.

If we will just listen for God to prompt us and are willing to follow those prompts, we will be blessed and bless others because of it. Listening254 to his prompting when God told me I was use cloth diapers allowed our family to not buy diapers for over a year. My friend and her gift of an embroidery machine was God’s provision of sanity during some of the most stressful times in my life. So listen up and move when God prompts you, otherwise you will miss a rich blessing.

 

More from Carrie:

It’s Not About Us…

Finding Joy in the Crazy Places

Designer Genes